little river canyon

today my mom, matt, and i went up to little river canyon. we did an, i'd say, pretty hard hike. we also went to sequoyah caverns. it was all pretty fun. i couldnt get very many good pictures in the cave, so i dont have any evidence, but there were these reflection pools that are basically little ponds that are only a few inches deep themselves but are filled with magnesium on the bottom which is black, so the water looks like it forms a reflection, making wherever you're walking look like there is some great fall. it was really awesome. sometimes i would have to catch my breath because i thought i was standing on a bridge or something and i could fall about twenty feet down if i slipped, when really it was just an eight inch pool of water. it was really great. i recommend it to anyone.

i also recommend cracker barrel to anyone. i think it's either my brother's favorite or one of his favorite restaurants because he makes us go there all the time. we went there twice today. it was a little ridiculous. most of the time i'm not in the mood because we have to go so much, but today i discovered the homemade strawberry shortcake, and i must say, it was delicious.

lately i've come to the conclusion that i want to go east somewhere and do some sort of mission work. i really dont think i'd ever be happy doing anything else. if only for a few months or for the rest of my life, i know it's something i want to do. i want to sit by the side of a dying aids victim and cry with them, or play with an orphaned child somewhere in the jungles of africa. i want to sit around a campfire and listen to them sing their songs in a language i dont understand, eat some rice and listen to their stories. i think it would be incredible to learn how to love those people. my mom thinks i should be looking into careers that will help me later on in life and, though that's smart, my thoughts are and probably always will be on the people that really, really need, not what i need to add to the pile of stuff i already have. im going to go to college, but im not sure i can go right now. the thing about all this ambition is i dont know how to get into all that. how to go over there and help anyone. its all very wide open. i know i need a church to support me and a group to go with but i dont know where to find it. i just know i have a very strong desire to be with those people, down in the dirt with them, and i know i have to do something about it. so if anyone knows how to go about it, if you could email me at theinnerpattern@msn.com, that would be great. im very versatile. i'd go to china where i could be killed or i'd go to somewhere that will welcome me with open arms. i'll do anything. it's less of a want and more of a need right now, so any information and advice would be greatly appreciated.