bad news

i havent blogged in a while. sorry to say this wont be a happy comeback.

a good friend of mine, aaron moore, was driving down the road at 1:30 AM on June 29 and got hit head on by a drunk driver going 90 mph. he's been in the trauma unit at UAB since in an induced coma. he has a distressed lung and im not really sure what that means but i know that if he moves he wont be able to breathe and it can kill him, so they had to induce the coma so he wouldnt move. he also had some internal bleeding and they had to take out his spleen. something inside of me kind of... fell apart when i heard the news. im sure people who've seen loved ones in a state like this know what i'm talking about.

trent, jake, and i went up to the hospital yesterday even though we didnt think we could go see him. we wanted to be there for his family and whoever else. they ended up letting me back there to see him... and well, i cant really explain what goes through your mind when you see someone you care deeply about in a condition such as that. he was on a respirator and his face was swollen and there was a big gash on his face and all sorts of things i didnt want to see. i didnt like thinking that could be the last time i see him, or the last time he hears my voice. i dont like thinking those things but they're real. and they're scary.

you see, aaron and i have a lot of history. we dated about a year ago and, in the time we were together, i dont know that ive ever had a relationship with someone so honest and good, even in a friendship way. ive never known someone like aaron. some of the best days of my life were spent with him. ive never known someone so... alive.

and this is certainly hard. aaron's granddad told me, crying, that aaron was in really bad shape. im not sure how true that is at this point because i've heard more optimistic but no definite things from other members of the family, but ive also heard some things that didnt sound very hopeful. and it's been so hard to compose myself since. i put on a good game face when i can but inside everything's pretty much crumbling. aaron is constantly on my mind, and on the mind of all our friends. every time my phone rings i think it might be someone with details on his condition. we're all walking on pins and needles, it seems.

and right now, the best thing any of us can do, is pray. pray for specific things. that aaron lives, if the situation is as bad as some are telling me it is. that his lung heals. that the pneumonia he's going to get will not be a devastating blow to his condition. he has a lot of things to face right now. a lot of mountains to climb on the road to recovery, so please, please, pray for him.

thanks and take care,
steph