everything gains wear and tear. everything sits on a coffeetable too long to collect dust and circular waves from friendly drinks and the conversation that follows. life is a form of erosion that they dont put in science books.

only in the past week, ive had some conversations i didnt wanna have, i've put up with people i didnt want to look at, and i've received low blows by people that tend to mean every word they say. we all have before. and its sad because sometimes what we need the most is for someone to just have faith in us.

we long for the breaks in life, and they very rarely if ever come, so sometimes people come for us instead, but usually they dont.

sometimes you might know someone for years upon years and then realize you dont know them at all, and they dont know you either.

and sometimes you want it to rain but the sun just stays out, and you feel bad because youre supposed to prefer sunlight over bad weather.

and sometimes trying to fix things really just makes them worse.

i dont live my life to correct my fellow man. i want to learn to look kindly upon the failing of my neighbor, to forgive as often as i have to, to appreciate each and every shortcoming in those that i come in contact with. i want to be more than an acquaintance to most people. i want to engage, to connect, to be inspired by the people i know.

i saw my neighbor growing up, my best friend and my confidant in every way, a few months back. she looked so happy to see me. she hugged me and asked me how i was and the whole atmosphere was warm. i wish life felt like that all the time. like youre seeing an old friend for the first time in years. like you belong where you are in the presence of those youre with every second of every day. like youre welcome in every conversation and in every circle of friends. unfortunately, we learn early on that life is not this way, and we do everything we can to shield ourselves from the stares of judgmental people and the words of anyone looking to offend us.

but sometimes, in the most unexpected ways, we find peace. sometimes watching dixie hop around in the grass because she loves being outside is one of the most innocent and good things i know, as strange as it might sound. and sometimes when im in the car with a friend and we arent saying anything i find that i enjoy their company more than anything in the whole world. and sometimes my mom bakes brownies and they seem to fix any problem i can think up in my head, because brownies are a girl's best friend no matter who isn't. i know there's a lot at stake in the world, and i know we've got a really long way to go, but as long as we're getting there, i think everything's gonna be alright.


p.s. matt should write more blogs.