lately i've come to the realization that i'm not cool. i hang out with certain people that i think really are cool. they like the right music and wear the right clothes and theyre nice to everyone. those people are 'cool' to most people. i spent a lot of time with some kids a few weekends ago and i realized that im not cool at all. i read too much. i play dork video games. i dont like rap. or shows like the oc. im not a good eighteen year old. im just not cool. but i dont think i care. because if God is real then thats the best news i've ever heard and whether i'm cool or cute or funny really doesn't matter at all. because God is real. and i'm fine.

today was well-spent. matt and i got to go to the mcwayne center with andy, april, abbey, drew, and kate rickles. we played with scientific toys - screens that let butterflies land on you, rooms that make one person look huge and the other tiny, we made dinosaur invasion movies that end with whales coming out of the sky. i screamed while reaching my arm into an aquarium and touching a fish which resulted in water all over myself and abbey. we also saw an imax movie [those are cool and futuristic] about cajun people and the wetlands of new orleans.

after that we headed back over to the church for the 5:30 "conversation" or whatever it's called. is there a name? anyway, i love nooma videos and the discussions that follow. i wish more people came, though. i dont like feeling overpowering because i choose to engage in the discussion, for the younger ones that dont. before the service, though, we all sat in the grass in front of the church and watched the kids run around. the weather was great today and it was nice to be in the presence of those i was with.

now it's 5:38 AM and i'm kind of lonely but not really and i'm probably not going to sleep for another few hours. i've got dixie and some seasons of south park so it's a good night. or morning.